Rape and India

There is something seriously wrong about some Indian men. It is becoming scarier by the day as more ghastly incidences of rape are coming out in the open. I do not understand why this is happening! (Or is it that such incidences are getting reported now!) What has changed that these perverts are losing complete conscience and raping baby girls? The rage, regret and disgust are too much to take for me and I really want to know the reason for this shameless inhuman act. I can’t fathom if knowing the reason could help us find a solution or whether this is only an unrealistic wishful thinking! Also, could the reasons lie in our society or the way we handle the topic of sex? Here’s what I think could be the probable reasons:

• Thinking of sex as taboo and not talking about it openly,
• Population explosion leading people to hide behind the crowd and do ghastly deeds,
• Complete absence of morality in men, as men are treated as Gods in Hindu society and hence never preached on morality by their parents the way they preach to the girl sibling,
• Illiteracy leading to animalistic instinct (by the way, even animals don’t mate with small ones),
• Alcohol and drug abuse leading to loss of judgement and loss of reasoning, sense etc.,
• Too much importance to the male species by the family,
• Female foeticide, leading to absence of a compatible sexual partner,
• Mental illness of these men, which is supressed and hidden due to societal pressure,
• Lack of civic education,
• Illiterate and unreasonable parents,
• Family background and culture during their formative years…

In any case none of the above statements can justify any of such horrendous crimes. Human beings are called the most evolved and best species of all. But I see that even the animals follow rules, culture and have principles. Men have completely lost it.
I have many examples when Indian men made me feel really uncomfortable while travelling alone. To cite a few, let me tell you about the Indian men and how they behave in international flights, especially the ones going to Thailand. Indian male’s behaviour really makes me feel ashamed and very insecure. Once you enter the aircraft, you would see, huge bellied Indian men shoving up the oversized luggage into the overhead cabinets of the flight. Then they won’t sit down on their respective seats. They are always accompanied by loud and talkative “friends” with whom they would talk endlessly till the aircraft moves. The air hostess would request them to take their seats so that other passengers can get in and take their seats. But who would listen to them? God forbid, if it is a return flight from Bangkok, these smelly Indian men think of themselves as the kings of India!
Then the time to serve alcohol and beverages comes! Can anybody be as greedy them? There should be a different word for these alcohol crazy men! They would always request the airhostess to pour them more alcohol than the allowed limit. If she doesn’t, they pester the air hostess so much that she avoids coming towards that aisle altogether till food is served. They wouldn’t attend to me or any other passenger in that area even if I need a glass of plain water. I don’t blame these airhostesses. If I was in their place, I would have done the same. But what a shame!
Post these drinks, they would lose some sense and start talking aloud or snore. Indians are becoming the butt of ridicule in all international flights mostly owing to their lack of manners. More so in the South East Asian sectors.
Why are these men so barbaric? Don’t they know how to behave in a civilized manner? Why can’t they just have one drink, have their food and shut up and let others also enjoy the flight? Why can’t they be at the least a little considerate of the fellow female passengers?
Ironically, when these same men are posted in a foreign land, they behave themselves, because they are scared of the law and order, police and rules abroad. Almost one third of Singapore’s population is Indian. They are following rules (so I have observed) and they behave themselves there. Why can’t they do the same here in India? Why can’t they respect women back home?
I wonder if the following measures can solve this problem of Indian men and bring down the increased crime rate on women in India:

• Legalise prostitution,
• Take serious measures not to control but to stop population explosion,
• Let people talk about sex openly,
• Reduce airfares to Bangkok,
• Have bars or pubs where they can pick willing women for sex for whom they don’t have to pay,
• Eradicate poverty by generating more employment opportunities,
• Focus on vocational education for men,
• Education for expecting parents on how to bring up their children,
• Compulsory television programmes on every channel on civic sense and responsibility of citizens,
• Limit on alcohol consumption and sale,
• Extreme exemplary punishments to offenders,
• Education for men on cultural values and how women are treated worldwide.

The list can go on. We all know we can stop these incidences if we sincerely try. A little alertness, cooperation from police, the government and social institutions can bring a change in the situation. Let us try.

Chores

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Tamarind Made Me Miss Malgudi

Food has never been an important aspect of my life. Since my childhood, I have been eating whatever was being served on my plate. Things have drastically changed after I met my partner a few years back. I am a forced foodie now. Funny but true that my partner is a huge foodie and is very particular about everything related to food, starting from the taste, look, colour of the food to the size and cut of the vegetables. No, I am not exaggerating. Hence, we have been known to try out important food outlets of any city that we visit. Recently we have visited the Tamarind on the Sarat Bose Road, Kolkata.

The Tamarind is on the first floor of a road side building that has excellent location and a convenient parking space just in front of the building. Our driver was happy to find a place in front of the entrance door. The moment we entered, a strong smell of disinfectant liquid used to mop the floor, made me uncomfortable. However, it was just the stairs and there was another door to enter the main eating area. Hence, I hoped the smell won’t be there while we eat. I was, thankfully, right. The ambience was nice with a few waiters waiting for us, as there were no customers yet. It was 7.30 pm and we had gone for a lazy, early dinner. The seating arrangement was comfortable spaced out and a few theme Nick Nacks adorned the shelves.

Our order consisted of starters of Tomato Rasam, Lemon Rasam and some Paneer Tikka (yes, not a typical South Indian dish, but you get it there.) Once we placed the orders for starters, two tumblers, full of butter milk, were served to us. I sipped once and it was really nice. :)

Our starters have come after a short wait and since we had already decided on the main course, we ordered our individual preferences of Coriander Rice, Ambat (dal with spinach leaves), Motta Roast (Egg preparation), Appam (kind of a pan cake) and Avial (mixed vegetables stewed in coconut milk). The Tomato Rasam was really wonderful and yummy but my Lemon Rasam disappointed me. It was extremely tangy, to the extent that your tongue would shrink and twist out of the citrus taste. I couldn’t continue sipping. However, the Paneer Tikka was nice, soft and yummy! The presentation of the food was nice. I didn’t know what to expect when the main course arrives.

Well, we didn’t have to wait long. We asked the waiter to serve our choices a little portion of each on our plates and started having it. My partner was silently having his Appam and Avial. After finishing my prayer, I wondered why is he silent! He said, “This is the worst Avial I have ever had. They must have used desiccated coconut or some ready made mix to make it.” There we go again! I thought to myself. I had my first spoon of Coriander Rice and I didn’t know why they are calling it Coriander Rice as there was no fragrance of coriander in it, except a few dried, unidentifiable pieces of some green leaves. The only thing I could eat and give some grade was the Ambat or the Spinach Dal. My partner had given the final verdict, “It’s a fake.” (FYI, my partner is a Tamil Brahmin :) Boing!!!) I give it a 3.5 out of 10, 10 being the best score. My point here is, if you are doing a business, you have got to be honest and passionate about it. The grand result will show. People should not opt for short cuts, as the result of short cuts would always be short lived.

My this experience in Tamarind made me fondly recall the food I had in Malgudi. Tamarind couldn’t really impress us much.

Malgudi is a chain of South Indian restaurants operated by the Shyam Group and the restaurants are well appreciated with its outlets in Chennai, Bangalore and Hyderabad. The one I had been to, is in Hyderabad. When I was working in Hyderabad, this used to be one of my favourite places to eat. Malgudi has a state specific menu that served food specific to that particular State of Southern India. The first striking point is the look of the restaurant. It looks like the Malgudi railway station of Malgudi. (For those who didn’t know, Malgudi is a fictitious town in India created by my favourite writer R.K. Narayan in his novels and short stories.) Malgudi made me feel special, as the waiters and cooks went out of their way to accommodate my orders according to my taste and requirements. The visit to Tamarind really made me miss Malgudi. Oh it was such a wonderful experience! I think I should write a complete blog on Malgudi once I visit it again. It’s been quite some time now since I have visited it last.

This Happened in India

Today I met this nice and cute lady in her ripe years who told me an amazing story. I had to share it here on my blog. She told me not to write, I promised I won’t quote the real names. But this is an amazing story!

Few days back I had met this Tamil couple, who happens to be my relative. Since they live in Geneva , I am meeting them for the first time in my life and we gelled so well. One day over some Chinese lunch in a star hotel in Kolkata, the man, (lets call him Athim here as Athimber stands for brother-in-law in Tamil, though I call him by his name as he prefers that :)),  told me that his mother cooks very well and his parents are Bengali. Well, I couldn’t really understand why was he saying that. How can he be a Tamil guy while his parents are Bengali? Well, my curiosity remained unanswered as everyone was talking about food and food alone and me being the youngest of the group, had to maintain courtesy. However, the itch remained inside.

I had to visit my new relatives house for a puja (religious ceremony) and I got the opportunity to meet my Athim’s elder sister, let me call her Akka (Akka means elder sister in Tamil) there in their house. She has landed in the morning for this puja. We got along the moment we were introduced and in the course of conversation, Akka mentioned that though originally she is a Bengali, her parents are Tamil. Well, of course I have had enough of this suspense already. So, this time, seeing that she is such a lovely, friendly lady, I asked her, how is that possible? How can Athim be a Tamil and his parents are Bengali and she is a Bengali originally and her parents are Tamil? I just had to know it. Here is the story that blew my mind off!

Akka told me that when her parents were young they were friends with a Tamil couple. They were such good friends that they wanted to stay together forever as friends. Hence, they started living together. This must have been decades ago. The Tamil couple and the Bengali couple hence started staying together in the same house and had children of their own. The friendship never changed. The children that is my Akka, Athim, their respective siblings, all have grown together in the same house as one single family. Now in their 60s and 70s, these siblings are still very much there for each other regardless of geographic boundaries. I just couldn’t believe it.  

Obviously, my question was not answered yet. How can she have Tamil parents if she is of Bengali origin and vice versa for Athim? She told me another fascinating story of love. When Athim was born, his original Tamil parents sighed and said, “No, not another boy again!” So, the Bengali couple said, “Never mind, give us your child, he will be ours.” The Tamil couple agreed. However, when another girl child was born in the Bengali family, the Bengali family returned the favour to the Tamil family and they lived happily ever after.

Isn’t it an amazing story? Akka told me, the mother of hers and Athim’s still live together. Now they are in their 90s and they have bitter fights with each other everyday, make up with each other everyday because they can’t live without having each other around. I found this story to be really amazing and mind blowing! How people can be so broad-minded and unconventional! How did the cruel society allow such an existence! I am sure people must have made dirty stories about them. But they never bothered. I wonder how they could manage so nicely over the years and the love they share is simply amazing! Akka was the one who had come to Kolkata to choose the bride for her brother (my Athim) and managed everything and nobody objected anything. Athim’s other sibling consists of a very famous female singer of our times now. I cannot mention her name here, but the whole of India knows her. I am so happy to be a part of such a wonderful broadminded family. God bless them!

Indian Independence Day!

On this Indian Independence Day, I visited Visva Bharati University at Shanti Niketan, Bolpur, West Bengal. Enjoyed every moment of it with my group of Sristir Ramdhenu. Sharing here, a very few of the moments:

M

My Bangles of Indian Tri-colour

With my little brother Manash

Holi – Indian Festival of Colour

The festival of Holi falls in the month of Phalgun or Fagun. Phalgun arrives as the curtain raiser of the upcoming Spring that brings in warm days and new life. Spring is the season of rejuvenation and rebirth. The earth discards its winter gloom and begins to blossom again. To mark this change, Holi flings colour into the Indian landscape and invites the celebration of life. Spirits run high as the preparations for the festivities begin, as households prepare sweets and colourful powder is bought, long syringes called 'pichkaris' are made ready with coloured water, water balloons are filled to colour family and friends with as many colours as possible.
Children, friends and neighbours gather on the streets and a riot of colour takes over. Coloured Justify Fullpowders known as 'abeer' or 'gulal' are thrown into the air and smeared on faces and bodies. 'Pichkaris' filled with coloured water are sprinkled onto people. Water balloons are thrown at friends and neighbours in the spirit of fun. Sometimes, mud baths are prepared and people are 'dunked' into it amidst much laughter and teasing. The young visitors carry 'abeer' or 'gulal' to pay their respects to elders by sprinkling some on their feet. The younger crowd is drenched with buckets of coloured water and pummelled with water balloons. Indian drums are played and the songs of Holi are sung by the merry-makers.
There is no religious 'puja' or worship associated with this festival of colours as such. However, some 'gulal' or 'abeer' is smeared on the faces of statues of Lord Krishna and Radha, at the commencement of the festivities.
There are some quaint customs attached to this festival as well. Holi is celebrated in the country with great zest and verve. It is a time to remember the brightness and splendour of life, a time to spread happiness, colour and love into the lives of others. Holi is, therefore, aptly called the festival of colour. Its spirit is uniquely Indian, colourful, exotic and full of life.

Mile` Sur Mera Tumhara (Old)

This is one song that makes me emotionally overwhelmed every time I listen to or watch it. So many memories of my childhood become fresh like it was yesterday! The big Television set in the living room, running from my study table to watch this song where I got to see so many celebrities in one single video, the variety of sur and the people of different states of India....this song is like a complete experience and a complete picture. I know for a fact that no "Phir Mile Mera Sur" or remake of “Mile Sur Mera Tumhara” can be as melodious as this one. This is a classic example of unity in diversity that signifies India. I love this song. India is truly incredible!

Incredible India

A baul singer of West Bengal

I was on my way to Shanti Niketan, in the Inter-City Express to Bolpur. One saffron gown clad man entered the chair car compartment. The thought – “here comes another magician, who would annoy every passenger by asking for money after he is done with his tricks” - came to my mind. But I was so wrong! Instead, this soft spoken man sang some soulful and melodious baul song. Keeping rhythm with his ghungroo on one of his ankles, he was creating effortless music with the dotara he had on his hands. Once he was done with his first number, the passengers requested for more. He obliged with a smile. I couldn’t resist the moment. I knew, I cannot get a better picture that says, “Incredible India" - literally!

You may like to know about:
Shanti Niketan
Baul Songs
Ghungroo
Dotara

Life is beautiful, the world is beautiful and I am feeling more so now because I am just back from one of the glorious road trips ever. It was a 17 hour journey through the serpentine roads of the blue hills and red rivers. I think pictures of the trip will say more than I can explain through my words. Look to your left. Isn't it breathtaking?